*this is a fiction where I have taken some ideas from my real life incidents, no people mentioned here actually exist*
Let me tell you two most ugliest truths of life:
- Each and everyone of us will have a person in life who, at one point of time, will become the reason or I should say source, of our happiness. For whom you will reserve the maximum place in your heart. However, due to unforseen unfortunate events the same person will became toxic in your life and getting over him/her will became one of the biggest hurdles in your life. The relationship with the person may vary he/she may be your first true love, your best friend or even your family member.
- You will never truly get over the person.
However, every cloud has a silver lining. The experience of facing the ordeal will make you a more sensible, mature and stronger person.
Now let me tell you all why I am the biggest fool on the planet:
You see even I had one such person in life. When I met her, she was broken: depressed, didn’t have any true friends, didn’t score well. Piece by piece I fixed her. Sometimes I even took out pieces from me to complete her but didn’t let her know lest she might give them back to me.
For hours we talked over phone and whatsapp, the only thing which stopped us was zero balance message (I was in 9th then now I am in 12th).
I fell in love with her.
To this day I regret the fact that I didn’t confess the moment I realised that I loved her. I didn’t want to risk losing such an imperfect friend.
I finally brought out my feelings to her one a half years later, by that time my love for her grew intensely and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. She was very shocked and told me that she saw me as a ‘bestfriend and bestfriend only.’
It was all chaos then, we started fighting a lot and had a lot of conflicts. And ultimately decided to stop talking.
It took me one whole year to move on. I spent my whole 11th in depression.
I’m still not over her, the max I can do is think as less about her as possible by keeping myself busy with other stuff. (Other stuff= studies,books not alcohol)
Then one fine day(yesterday) right in the middle of 12th, one the most crucial and sensitive years of any student in India, she texted me that she desperately wants to talk to me and she misses me a lot.
Any person with itsy-bitsy smartness would know that the rightest answer to her request was:
“I am sorry but I cannot, you must realise this is a very important year of our lives and by bringing eachother in it we will distract eachother a lot. You want to be my friend but I love you. This fact will become the source of a lot drama between us and will keep us from concentrating in studies. My 11th already got ruined, I don’t want to ruin another year.”
But am I itsy–bitsy smart? NO!!!
I ended up fixing a meet with her on Monday and completely disregarded my entire struggle of keeping my mind off her. If we resume talking I may ruin my future.
I’m a very practical guy alright, who is good in academics and all but when it comes to her I don’t know what the hell happens to my logical thinking.I become the biggest fool on this planet.